The girlfriends guide to pregnancy pdf

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The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy [Vicki Iovine] on *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. Your doctor gives you medical advice. Your mother . The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy - Vicki Iovine Peeing. Another symptom that the Girlfriends found in early pregnancy was the need to urinate a lot. The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy by Vicki Iovine - The practical, comforting, honest, and hilarious bestseller for moms-to-be, with more than one and a half.

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The Girlfriends Guide To Pregnancy Pdf

The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy by Vicki Iovine; 4 editions; First published in ; Subjects: Pregnancy, Accessible book, Protected DAISY. 6 days ago Girlfriends Guide To Pregnancy - [Free] Girlfriends Guide To Pregnancy [PDF] [ EPUB] Vicki. McCarty Iovine (born Vicki Ann McCarty; January. The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy book. Read reviews from the world's largest community for readers. The practical, comforting, honest, and hilar.

The practical, comforting, honest, and hilarious bestseller for moms-to-be, with more than one and a half million copies in print! Your doctor gives you medical advice. Your mother downloads you baby clothes. Four-time delivery room veteran Vicki Iovine talks to you the way only a best friend can—in the book that will go the whole nine months for every mother-to-be. In this revised and updated edition, get the lowdown on all those little things that are too strange or embarrassing to ask, practical tips, and hilarious takes on everything pregnant. Pregnancy is Down To a Science—from in vitro fertilization to scheduled c-sections, there are so many options, alternatives, and scientific tests to take that being pregnant can be downright confusing! And much more! That is why I am always cynical when I read those stories about unsuspecting women giving birth to babies in airplane bathrooms after nine months of not knowing they were pregnant. Come on now! Most eight-month-old fetuses kick and tumble so fiercely that you can watch your abdomen go from round to nearly square.

A word of caution here: A significant number of women have gotten pregnant after too much to drink, and sometimes pregnancy and a hangover are hard to tell apart. The general rule should be that a hangover that lasts for more than a couple of days could be pregnancy, and it might be a good idea to give up the partying until you know for certain.

If you are light-headed, it is usually nothing to worry about, but you could pass out and bonk your head on something, so move slowly and let your blood pressure adjust at its new, slower pace. Nausea is the Waterloo for many newly pregnant women, and it can strike at any point in the pregnancy, usually at the two-month point. They either will find themselves eating everything in sight in a desperate attempt to make the queasiness go away, or they will gag at the mere thought of certain foods.

You would think that a nauseous woman is a woman who cannot eat a crumb. Not true. Many of my pregnant Girlfriends experienced starving and vomiting almost simultaneously.

Pregnancy can create a gnawing uneasiness in the tummy that is most easily compared to seasickness, and, as with seasickness, food is the only thing that can settle your stomach. The catch is that not all food is friendly food.

The challenge is in finding just the right foods to soothe the nausea—because you will be amazed at how many of the old favorites, such as cheese, fish, broccoli, or chicken, now make your stomach lurch uncontrollably when you imagine eating them. Some of my more unfortunate Girlfriends have had such extreme nausea that they would gag right in the middle of a sentence. My poor Girlfriend Maryann was so plagued by morning sickness that she would throw up spontaneously. There would be no warning signs, such as a wave of nausea or a watering of the mouth.

One moment she would be chatting normally, and the next minute it was the pea-soup scene from The Exorcist. She just sat as quietly as possible with her mouth clenched tightly to try to keep the mess to a minimum.

Occasionally, a pregnant woman suffers so much from vomiting, a condition called hyperemesis, that she is hospitalized to keep her hydrated and as comfortable as possible. As the saying goes, This, too, shall pass. Then again, many other Girlfriends have never experienced a gurgle of nausea.

This diversity is just another example of how nature gets a kick out of keeping us guessing and never letting us completely relax. There is really no rhyme or reason in this area of food preferences and sensitivities.

You might be like my Girlfriend Sondra, who, when she was pregnant, craved anything spicy.

The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy by Vicki Iovine - Read Online

She would start her days with Mexican food drowning in salsa. Little microbes might be transmitted from sushi into your intestines, Girlfriends, or your doctor may worry about too much mercury collecting in your body. Just ask your trusted professional for her appraisal of the risk. Or you might be like my Girlfriend Shannon, who craved comfort foods such as mashed potatoes, cereals, and white toast.

My Girlfriend Corki got on a fruit kick and lived for strawberries and nectarines, with a little chocolate thrown in every now and then for variety. Obviously, the goal is to eat some foods from the five major food groups, if not at every meal, then at least once a day. He or she may prescribe vitamin supplements to help carry you through the nauseous period and into the second trimester, when you will be thrilled to eat nearly anything that is placed before you.

You may find that a calcium pill is as effective as the glass of milk that makes your eyes water and your throat close down. The bottom line this early in your suspected pregnancy is this: If you crave nonfood items, such as the above-mentioned dirt or paint chips and some pregnant women do , avoid the urge and call your doctor TODAY.

For a lot of women, including myself, the first sign that they are pregnant is that the world begins to smell strange. Common aromas seem to get more powerful or cloying. One morning she saw me pouring cream into my coffee and started making noises like a cat trying to get up a hair ball. Continuing with this cat theme, my Girlfriend Lynn had to beg her husband to take over the feeding of their cat because the first whiff of the Seafood Surprise when the can was opened sent her streaking for the sink.

By the way, if you do have a cat, and you are indeed pregnant, it is time to give another member of the household the job of changing the cat litter. Ask your doctor for details, but cat poopoo can give some virus to pregnant women, so steer clear of it as if I have to twist your arm, right?

During my first pregnancy, I was so certain that my bed pillows and comforter were mildewed that I wrapped them in plastic garbage bags and disposed of them. I immediately and irrationally, according to my husband replaced the pillows and comforter with brand-new ones, only to discover when I crawled into bed that night that they smelled exactly the same!

Another indication that you might be pregnant can be the feeling that you are losing your mind, or at least some vague control of your emotions. You may feel as though you have a monster case of PMS. This is not something I am proud to share with you, but as your Girlfriend, I will: Two different times, the first doctors to suggest to me that I might be pregnant were not gynecologists, but psychiatrists.

One time, my husband calmly put me in the car and drove me to his therapist right after I tried to knock his head off by throwing a book across the room. Believe me when I say this behavior was not only uncharacteristic of me, it was absolutely unacceptable to him. That menopause turned out to be my baby Jessica, a possibility that I had not even considered. Even if you are not prone to violent outbursts, you may experience the hormonal irrationality of pregnancy in the form of weepiness or utter lack of humor.

My Girlfriend Amy, who is normally the sweetest of Southern belles, was so cranky when she was pregnant that she actually became funny. The contrast between her usual tiny-blond demeanor and her general pissed-off state during pregnancy was so dramatic that it was comical, not unlike a toddler swearing.

One of the most important things to consider during this time of emotional whiplash aside from putting off the cleaning of any handguns is the probability that you will be completely unaware of your strange behavior.

In other words, this is not the time to file for divorce, change your job, download a house, or, most important, cut your hair. You might think that not getting your period is a pretty reliable indication that a bun is in your oven, but that was never my first clue. Sure, millions of women have regular twenty-eight-day cycles and know exactly when to expect their period, right down to whether it will be before breakfast or after dinner. I, however, am all over the place. I have a hard enough time remembering to fill my car with gas, and it comes equipped with a gauge.

The fun part about this absentmindedness is that it can keep your life full of surprises; one day you wake up expecting the same old routine, and instead you discover you are going to have a baby!

The troublesome part of this absentmindedness is that when you do confirm that you are pregnant, your doctor will invariably ask you for the date of your last period, and you will have to either lie as I have always done or give some lame answer like "It was the day after they announced the winner on American Idol. My Girlfriend Mindy had missed two periods before she began to suspect that she might be pregnant.

I think that she, like a lot of us, was not particularly upset about missing two weeks of tampons and cramps, so she accepted her lack of periods at face value: A gift from God. One thing, though, that I have learned from experience is that it is helpful to have a vague familiarity with your cycle, because the new home-pregnancy tests are so sensitive that you can often know if you are pregnant as early as nine or ten days after the deed.

And since it only makes sense that you would want to protect your pregnancy from the earliest possible moment, a positive test result could inspire you to stop smoking or drinking or taking Prozac with medical supervision, of course immediately.

We women are supposedly famous for it, and while it has never happened to me, I have a number of reliable Girlfriends who have never previously claimed to have supernatural powers but who swear they knew they were pregnant the instant it happened. Scientist or cynic that I am, I have asked these women if they have ever felt that mystical sensation and not been pregnant and just never mentioned it to anyone. But, no, these Girlfriends insist that they felt different physically and psychically from that climax onward.

And you know what? The news that you are pregnant is BIG, each and every time it happens. You know this already by the way you feel when your doctor, nurse practitioner, or any stranger in a white coat comes out of the little lab room with a big smile on his or her face.

The general rule is, if this is your first pregnancy, you will tell your baby daddy the glorious news before you tell anyone else unless you live in Pine Valley and you are awaiting the DNA reports determining paternity. If this is your second or third baby, however, you will inform everyone on your email list by PDA and text-message the rest. There they would sit with you, flipping through old copies of Fit Pregnancy or studying the manuals on the human papilloma virus.

If this is your first pregnancy, there is a chance that your partner will indeed be there with you to see the nurse and her smile. They can still grow up to be wonderful and attentive fathers. Keep this bit of advice in mind: Be pragmatic; a busy man does not automatically equal a bad father.

Besides, three home pregnancy tests that came up undeniably positive may be as much excitement as he can take in a week. At the risk of repeating myself, let me assure you that home pregnancy tests—yes, the standard sticks you pee on and wait for a sign in the little window, or a colored tip to appear, or a stork to fly in your chimney—are virtually always correct if the result is positive. In spite of this, most first-timers do not consider themselves officially pregnant until their doctor tells them so.

This is why we call to make an appointment for an office test ASAP! Even if you strongly suspect that you are indeed pregnant, the shock of hearing this news from a medical professional can be so stunning that even the most capable and stouthearted of us become weak and quite grateful that someone familiar with CPR is in the room with us.

And without a doubt, your next question will be When is it due? No matter how often your Girlfriends advise you not to rely on it too much, you will embrace that date firmly and plan your entire life around it. And when that due date comes and goes with no baby in sight, as it frequently does with women expecting their first babies, you will become a directionless person without the slightest clue how to pass the time until you feel your first labor pain.

By the time I was pregnant with my third and fourth babies, I had boxes of those home pregnancy tests in my medicine cabinet. I routinely took them whenever I was overtired, bloated, burpy, or just bored. When I finally got a positive result, I was repeatedly so stunned that I immediately reached for another kit to confirm. Some of my Girlfriends are quite sentimental about how they share this delicious information. Candlelit meals with romantic music in the background are popular in my crowd, as are clever emails, teddy bears waiting at the front door, or going for a walk together as soon as you both get home.

But if my husband were to come home to a setup like that, he would think I had joined a cult and given all our money to the swami. I will be trying to poop and accidentally poop out a baby while I am at work. Apparently pushing during labor feels like pushing out a bowel movement. I catch myself every once in a while doing a good push and then panicking mid-push. What if I poop my uterus right out?!

I am not really worried about doing this at home, even if I am home alone. But the thought of it happening at work terrifies me.

There are only 2 other women and men where I work. Hmmm…maybe that would get people to quick popping in to chat all the time. This has major potential! So, I like the author of this book. She is way cooler than the other pregnancy book authors who are doctors or something official like that. Anyone who is pregnant and has a sense of humor. Best pregnancy book EVER!

Ever time I turned around I had some new symptom of something potentially dangerous. So, I did what any other crazy prgnant lady would do I threw it in the trash. Anyway, someone gave me "The Girlfriends Guide I laughed so hard I peed my pants! I probably would have peed my pants anyway It was the best thing that could have happend to me at the time.

I needed to laugh. Any first-time mother knows how freaky and scary things get when you have a "foreign body" growning inside you! This book lets you know that you are not alone. Other women have burped, farted, and peed their way to motherhood for millions of years. I highly recommend this one as a baby shower gift!

Jun 03, Kessie rated it really liked it. This book is hilarious. It's different from the rest of the pregnancy books I've read because it isn't just a lot of facts but speaks in a way women think, especially pregnant women.

I sat in my room reading it, laughing out loud, by myself, and then also groaning out loud when I read some of the things the author is very frank about but that I don't want to be true. At least I'll know what's actually going to happen to my body! I would highly recommend it to anyone pregnant.

There's even a sect This book is hilarious. There's even a section for the husband to read which when you're reading it you're laughing about because it states all the things they're afraid of and gives them council on each thing, but it's hilarious because they hit every worry the man has right on the nose Dec 07, Laura rated it really liked it Shelves: This was probably one of the best books to read right away. What to Expect scared me and bored me, at the same time. While this book uses the term "girlfriend" excessively, and though I hate the term, it's worth reading.

There are quite a few things in here that aren't mentioned in other pregnancy books, and some of them are gross enough that I'm secretly hoping they just won't happen to me. If when they do, at least I'll know that it's normal.

The Girlfriends' Guide to Pregnancy

I'm not sure I like that the author encourages pr This was probably one of the best books to read right away. I'm not sure I like that the author encourages pregnant women to not exercise, but I think she was trying to say that if you're too tired all the time, not to feel guilty about it, not to purposely lay in bed all the time. May 29, Heather Clark rated it it was amazing Recommends it for: I've done the "what to expect when you're expecting" week by week review - and that's great, but I can get that information on the internet.

I loved it, I'll download it so I have it when I do get pregnant. Jun 30, Jaimee rated it liked it Shelves: I loved the idea of a book written from the experienced point of view of "girlfriends. Vicki Iovine writes well and sprinkles in a good dose of humor, which is always appreciated when you're pregnant. However, I disagreed with so many of her opinions that I had a difficult time really liking the book. She also mentions downloading as much of your baby's layette used as possible, but most modern books agree that you should not download a crib used if you can help it.

Losing your Body: This is the first pregnancy book that actually scared me that I would forever lose my body. She basically tells you to get over the fact that you're going to lose your waist, your abs, your thighs, your bladder control, and your breasts- forever.

She throws in one token sentence that says your post-pregnancy body MIGHT be better, but never the same. Instead of finding this helpful or insightful, I find it discouraging. Breast Feeding: She even details stories of her girlfriends not breast feeding in an attempt to save their breasts, which she just goes on to say won't help since you're doomed to smaller, saggier breasts anyway. Natural Birth: She doesn't see the merit in making it through delivery medication free and states that an epideral can't come early enough.

Her attitude is, if you can do it with less pain why wouldn't you? She even supports the planned C-section for no other reason than convenience. I can't get on board with that.

I feel sorry for Vicki because she portrays her husband as unhelpful, unsupportive, and unsympathetic throughout her pregnancies and deliveries. She goes on to talk about how her husband was down the hall talking with friends while she was alone in her hospital room contracting. Or my personal favorite, how he may need to be taking pictures instead of helping you through the pushing stage of delivery. Overall, if you really want another pregnancy book to read and believe me, I know what it's like to want to devour every piece of writing out there on the subject go ahead and read this one, too.

But, be forewarned that you may not agree with many of her opinions and might be frightened by some of her comments. May 05, Sarah rated it did not like it Shelves: I wasn't going to read this book, but then it was VERY enthusiastically recommended to me by my dentist. And then my hygienist wrote a little note about how funny I would find the book, and included it in the bag with my free toothbrush and toothpaste.

It was about the cutest thing ever. Good things about this book: It also acknowledges that a lot of pregnancy information is more I wasn't going to read this book, but then it was VERY enthusiastically recommended to me by my dentist. It also acknowledges that a lot of pregnancy information is more anecdotal than medical -- stuff you'd hear from mothers, sisters, and girlfriends -- but that nowadays a lot of people live far away from those support systems.

Bad things about the book: Turning your personal anecdotes into a general information book is sort of The author thinks that pregnancy sucks, that epidurals are a must-have, etc. Like I think this should be the Girlfriend's guide and not the Girlfriends' guide because you're really only getting one perspective. I consider "Don't do thing not associated with pregnancy loss while pregnant because you might lose the baby and blame yourself!

Anyways, I'm glad this book tickles the funnybone of some people, but personally I'd recommend an online due date group for sharing pregnancy anecdotes and experiences -- much more interactive, and a much greater variety of experiences.

Feb 27, L. Fidler rated it did not like it.

View all 17 comments. Mar 17, Shannon Mrsreadsbooks rated it it was ok Shelves: This is by far the most annoying pregnancy book I have read this far. It does provide the normal information about conception, pregnancy and delivery, but it's very one sided.

I live a very natural, organic life and should just stick to the natural pregnancy books. In one chapter, the author is talking about breast stimulation as a natural way to help start labor and refers to natural pregnancy books as "crunchy".

So t This is by far the most annoying pregnancy book I have read this far. So that was annoying. She also uses the word Girlfriend, in capitals, about 15 times per page, which is also extremely annoying.

I don't like one sided books. This book doesn't speak at all about natural birth or anything related to it. The author's writing style is obnoxious at best and overall the book is just really annoying. It does provide basic information, but this is basic information you can find in most pregnancy books and I guarantee they won't be as annoying at this one.

Jul 31, Ruby rated it did not like it Shelves: I was given this as a gift which was a nice thought. But this book just bugged me.

It was already getting on my nerves in the beginning with the pseudo-weird "name dropping" like "my girlfriend so and so that is an actress" and "my girlfriend so and so who is a model", but, whatever, I powered through.

When I got to the part about how we aren't supposed to excercise pretty much at all ever I had to stop reading. To each their own, but I thought clearly me and this woman do not see eye to eye.

Apr 21, Sandrine rated it did not like it. Yep, I'm pregnant, that's why I read it. But I kind of got the feeling that she hated her husband the whole time I was reading it, always blaming him for everything hey, it takes two, you know! It kind of ruined the whole experience for me. Plus, my pregnancy was nothing like the stuff she described, so it wasn't that helpful. But everyone is different, so it might be a great book for other people.

Who hate their husband. Jan 04, Monica McCann rated it it was ok. I wasn't so crazy about this book. I think I had a bad attitude towards Miss Vicki at chapter 8. I realize these books are based on opinion, but it was a little much to be force fed don't exercise I won't be passing it on to anyone I like: May 28, Cyndy Aleo rated it it was amazing Shelves: By the end of my third month, I had pitched it into the corner of my bedroom in terror come to think of it, I never did find that book when we moved I'm so glad I did.

Unlike most pregnancy books that you will find, Vicki Iovine comes to you with the style that is exactly what the title describes: In all my 29 years as a woman, only one friend ever told me what pregnancy was really like, and I had forgotten most of what she said! Vicki and her cast of Girlfriends are upfront and honest about everything from hemorrhoids to incontinence.

Who knew that there was so much no one shared? Narrated in a light-hearted tone, Vicki and I call her that because I'm a Girlfriend now seems to be whispering over a table at lunch in a conspiratorial, gossipy tone.

From encouraging you to lie to your husband about when the ban on sexual relations is over to encouraging you to take advantage of your husband's amazement at the ordeal of childbirth, you really feel like you have your best friend with you while you are pregnant. There were many a day when I was scared of some new pregnancy development. Rather than consult the gloom and doom of WTE, which had me convinced from the get-go that I was doing it all wrong, I checked in with Vicki, who reassured me that what was happening happened to a LOT of pregnant women.

I wouldn't recommend not calling your doctor if you have a real concern, but on subjects like what a hemorrhoid feels like, it's a lot less embarrassing having Vicki share than calling your doctor to ask. Needless to say, I was so thrilled to have my new Girlfriend that I went out and got Vicki's book about baby's first year. And I'm hoping someone gets me the toddler book for Christmas. Now if she will just write one about pre-teens and teenagers, I'll be able to face the rest of this job as a parent.

Maybe my husband will even read it. This review originally published on Epinions: Feb 17, Amy rated it really liked it Shelves: This book surely does tell you things nobody else does: I know I'll re-read the last few chapters later when I need to know what to bring to the hospital with me and what are real signs vs. However, I also hated the author's male-bashing, her assumption that every woman turns into a pregasaurus, her denouncement of exercise, and her chapter on fashion.

I wanted to kick her in t This book surely does tell you things nobody else does: I wanted to kick her in the teeth when she started talking about how horrible it was that all her size 2, 4, and 6 friends went up a size after they had a baby. Sorry, I'd never be your girlfriend, Vicki. We come from very different worlds. Despite the parts I hated, I have to say that they're small in comparison to the good information I gleaned from the pages.

Sometimes, if nothing else, it made me feel like these strange things happening to me aren't so strange after all. I'd certainly recommend it as a must-read for any mother-to-be. I'd give it 5 stars if the author's personality didn't sometimes rub me the wrong way.

First off, I am not pregnant! I wanted to read this book because I had read an excerpt of it in a magazine the first chapter and had found it really hilarious. It is an interesting read for someone like me who is not pregnant, but would like to be in the future, and has no idea what it is like or the kind of things pregnant women go through.

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I'd personally like to know what I am getting myself into. It would've been a little bit more effective if she was a "normal-sized woman" to begin with an First off, I am not pregnant! It would've been a little bit more effective if she was a "normal-sized woman" to begin with and not a size 4, but it is still interesting to hear her views as she shares similar viewpoints to me. I found the book full of useful information and I definitely learned a lot of stuff about being pregnant and giving birth that I never knew about before.

Having said that, yes it did gross me out a bit and turn me off to the idea of having kids At least for the immediate future anyways.

Plus I'm not sure I'm that ready for my life to change that drastically, at least not till after I finish school. Aug 14, Lisa Kurt rated it did not like it Shelves: I would not recommend this book to any pregnant woman. It was one of the first books I read early in my pregnancy unfortunately. While there are a few parts that are funny - most of it was degrading and negative toward women and birthing.

I actually cried a couple of times during certain sections where she was presenting what she considers "the truth". Yes pregnancy can be difficult and labor and birth may be the most difficult things to do physically, but the way in which the topics were presen I would not recommend this book to any pregnant woman. Yes pregnancy can be difficult and labor and birth may be the most difficult things to do physically, but the way in which the topics were presented made me angry.

The author seems to be more than happy giving over all power to her doctors without question rather than educating herself or encouraging others to educate themselves. She makes a lot of grand sweeping statements throughout the book that just are not true for all women and often states that if she were not there to tell you- who would.

It left me feeling depressed and sad about pregnancy - how is that helpful to anyone? May 27, Julie rated it it was amazing Shelves: I'm reading all the traditional pregnancy books, and wanted something lighter. After a recommendation from a goodreads friend, I hunted this down at the library.

I read more than half of it the first day, and laughed so hard that I cried not to mention couldn't stop for ten minutes. It just doesn't matter to me that Vicki Iovine is in a different "set" than me; or that at times she climbs on her soapbox a little. No other book I've read has been as frank about the trials and tribulations, and I'm reading all the traditional pregnancy books, and wanted something lighter.

No other book I've read has been as frank about the trials and tribulations, and the emotional aspects of changing your life forever by having a child including what it does to your body. I'm scared to death right now but I think I'm glad to know all this stuff now, at 21 weeks, when I have some time to come to terms with it all. And yeah, not everything in this book applies. My husband has been nothing but good to me during this whole experience, and I have only had certain symptoms, as expected: The point is, I don't feel alone.

I read this book because I work on Maternity, and it was lying around in our lunch room. Iovine is what we would call 'too posh to push' genre.

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